Declaring its neighbor Casa Italiana as “blighted and really ghetto,” SIPA continued with its ambitious 2009-2010 expansion plan designed to create more academic space for its students. It will be a “reprieve-expansion” before the eventual Manhattanville expansion, slated at completion sometime in the next ten to seventy-six years.

A SIPA spokesman declared, “This reprieve-expansion makes sense in every way. Italian is a redundant language and sort of sounds like Spanish, so why not find synergies and combine the two of them! Sort of like what we are doing next year with IFP and IEP, EPS and IEMP…Sort of.”

A handful of Casa Italiana faculty protested their forced removal with dramatic hand gestures and charming Italian curses, but to no avail. All remaining holdouts will be compensated with ten-dollar gift cards from Duane Reade, and their offices will eventually be moved to Casa Hispanica. SIPA students next year can eagerly enjoy the amenities of Casa Italiana, generally described by the SIPA spokesman as, “A building that doesn’t suck.”